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February 16, 2013

So. Wednesday wasn’t bad at all. I was tired for most of the day but for some reason was kind of happy. Seeing the *hottest* girl I had seen in ages probably helped that, lol. The day before, after going to the mall, I told myself that it was silly to keep thinking about the girl. And it is. Mostly I miss the concept of what it could have been. It only lasted three dates, and the third date wasn’t very good, but before them I had not been on a date for four fucking years, and the previous dry spell was 4 years before that situation too.

I felt insanely happy for about a week and a half there, so happy to have someone interested in me. I tend to insulate myself from other people, I guess so I don’t have to feel awkward. I don’t really know how to do the “friend” thing. So when I found out a girl was interested in me I had no clue WTF to do. I asked her out and we went on a date and it was GREAT. Then she brings her friend to meet me and we talk for two hours. Great! Then after the second date the girl apparently starts avoiding me. I’m like WTF? I don’t know what’s going on so I ask her out again and she says yes. The date is set for the day after Christmas and text her Merry Christmas on the day but don’t get a reply. Okay I’m getting frustrated again I’ll finish that story another day.

Anyway, back to the hot girl. One thing I know I do is I avoid eye contact. I can never tell if a girl is interested in me, partially because if i look at a girl and she looks at me I then look away. This girl is at the car dealership I’m at with my sister, who is getting her car fixed. She’s wearing black yoga pants and black boots. Nice looking boots, too, which is a rare thing in my world. I don’t know if she thought I was cute or not, though I think she did. But it’s a start.

Valentines day was bad. I’ve never had a girlfriend on the day, and for a while in December I thought I might have one. So when the day came and I had none it hurt. Though Friday was better. I’m thinking I need to find some social group to join. I’m trying to be more active in EVE but it doesn’t have that face to face component that I’m so bad at. Thinking of trying Dungeons & Dragons at this place near me, but I probably won’t meet many girls there 😛 But you never know!


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