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Moving forward…or not

March 3, 2013

So I’ve applied to a few local jobs. Got…nothing in return. Target said no. No word on the others. I could probably do something like tutoring or grading papers and get paid well, but it’s pretty much *not* what I’m looking for. I want some experience that will put me in a position that I’m not comfortable with. Not in an “Eww gross” way or “hard labor” way, but in a people way. Dealing with people is my biggest problem right now. All my actions tend to be centered around avoiding people. And all it has done is given me a heap of regrets and not much memories. I’ve never done crazy things. I can actually remember pretty much every time I’ve gone out with friends. Not because I have a good memory, which I do, but because I haven’t done it very much.

It’s a little weird how my life has been mirrored in the sitcoms I’ve been watching. Not everything, but enough situations to be disconcerting. The most recent was Big Bang Theory, when Raj goes to get coffee with a girl and she runs out on him. Raj is devastated and holes up to avoid people. Okay, similarity one. But then the girl tries to contact him and says she’s bad with people, and she had gone out trying to get out of her comfort zone. Something I’ve been trying to do but failing so far. Haven’t found something I want to do yet. Gah:

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